The Dark Lane

Archives #4

April 2 2017
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“Later,” I heard you say.
Turning, you walked down the dark lane.
I watched as the numbers on the clock changed,
eating minutes, hours, days.

Years went by,
then, “Soon,” you cried,
and turned to walk again down the dark lane.

Your last word was “Tomorrow,”
spoken with confidence and hope.
I reached for you,
crying, “Today, please, today,”
but you turned away
to take one last walk down the dark lane.

Your clock stopped,
leaving memories of a lost embrace,
the deathly echo of a promise made too late,
and nightmares of a dark lane.

.

In memory of all the lives which have been stolen by addiction.

©Jane Paterson Basil

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Author: janebasilblog

Jane sits around and writes a bit, then she does some other stuff, then she sits around and writes a bit more, then she eats something. Sometimes, at night, she goes to bed.

10 thoughts on “The Dark Lane”

  1. This is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. I would love to share your posts with family members I talk to. As you mentioned, the ripple effect of addiction is an exponential disease of it’s own. Helping an addict through their pain and hardship is co-dependency, but if you don’t they might not wake up again. I don’t know the answer, but I know that support is a piece of it. Never stop reaching out. We all have a little strength to give and we all need some, too. Lots of love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comment. I’d love it if you shared any of my posts. Who knows – maybe even the angry ones may help. Hurt and frustration makes all of us get angry sometimes, but then we often feel guilty. When I started mothering addicts the plan had been to share with other parents the emotions I’d gone through, the mistakes I’d made and the ways I’d learned to cope. I wanted to help with the feelings of guilt and shame, the feeling of being alone, the pain – all the horrible stuff. I HATE that others have to go through this, and sometimes the ultimate loss.
      Your supportive words make me eager to be more active on this blog, and write new posts in addition to digging poems out of the Making it Write Archives. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You have so much to give! Thanks for having the strength to share what you’ve been through. That strength, I have no doubt, is helping other parents cope with the same feelings. I hope you never stop writing and sharing!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m having trouble writing about it at the moment. I’m recovering from something my son did to me which hurt and humiliated me so much that I can’t talk about it yet. It happens sometimes, but I’ll get over it. Your supportive comments help a lot.
        I need to stick with it, but it’s hard. The abuse has gone on for too long.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be. Never forget that there are millions of family members and moms in particular who share your pain. It may feel like it at times, but you’re never alone. 💕 stick to strong boundaries, some days will be harder than others and those are the days you might need to reach out for extra support. And that’s ok! We all need support, no one should have to endure these challenges alone💕

        Liked by 1 person

      4. This may sound strange, but after years of this, I’ve found that the best thing for me when it gets tough is to shut myself away until I begin to recover. I’ve found that offloading when I’m at my worst is counter-productive for me. When I feel better, I have several people to go to, depending on my needs at the time, and the level to which I feel able to talk about it.
        My psychiatrist says I’m one of the most self aware patients he’s ever encountered, speaking of which, I don’t know how if you go for dark humour, but it helps me to survive, and I see the funny side of this:
        He prescribed pregabalin for my anxiety. I filled the prescription, but couldn’t bring myself to take it. My son found it, stole it, and sold it on the street.
        I got some more the next month, just in case I felt I really couldn’t cope. I hid it. He found it. Then he tried to bully me into getting more.
        Pregabalin is THE most popular pharmaceutical drug for heroin addicts.
        Thanks doc.

        Liked by 1 person

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