.
I loved you
with a mother’s heart,
thinking my love could save you,
but I was a fool, slave to your determination,
lost in your control from the start.
Your supremacy has been hacked away,
but you still have the power
to cut me apart.
.
Liquid armour
sweats through your skin,
your skillfully smelted weapons rust,
corroded by a war that you could never win.
You sought cheap freedom from pain
but found yourself in chains,
battle-scarred limbs
weakly reaching to steal alms
from scattered compadres and thieves.
.
Once the lady of deceit
soared through clean veins
bringing laughter and a peaceful relief,
your inner warnings melting on a sticky spoon,
your synapses giggling in denial of disease.
.
Did you feel that moment
when the switch flicked from want to need?
Did it creep up silently, like age sneaked up on me,
Or did it swipe you like lightening from behind?
.
Every vow to stay clean
Fades as it encounters your frowzy face.
The lady will not be disobeyed.
.
What think ye of thine armour now,
my beloved, struggling son?
.
©Jane Paterson Basil
Reblogged this on Making it write and commented:
The latest poem in my motheringaddicts blog…
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says it all Jane, others will find this very helpful 😦
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I hope so…
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Well penned Jane.
Is there no longer light
at the end of this dark, dark tunnel?
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There’s always light, but it’s hard to see.
Laura phones me every day. Yesterday she told me she’d spoken to Paul and he was clean. I said “I’ve heard that one before”. She said, Not from me. I never say he’s clean, but I believe it this time.”
She wants to believe it. I’ll know he’s clean when he starts trying to make amends. Until then I’ll keep out of his way, since all he does is try to cheat and bully money out of me.
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‘The lady of Deceipt’ as a metaphor and that photo gives this poem a haunting quality that is the hallmark of real poetry.
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Although I was pleased with this poem, it got little attention, so I’m particularly grateful for your comment.
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If it got so little attention the first time why do re-post it?
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I published it in my Mothering Addicts and reblogged it to my main blog, Making it Write, a few hours later, in the hope of drawing attention to the addiction blog. I didn’t know that it would semi-flop.
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