I loved you

with a mother’s heart,

thinking my love could save you,

but I was a fool, slave to your determination,

lost in your control from the start.

Your supremacy has been hacked away,

but you still have the power

to cut me apart.


Liquid armour

sweats through your skin,

your skillfully smelted weapons rust,

corroded by a war that you could never win.

You sought cheap freedom from pain

but found yourself in chains,

battle-scarred limbs

weakly reaching to steal alms

from scattered compadres and thieves.


Once the lady of deceit

soared through clean veins

bringing laughter and a peaceful relief,

your inner warnings melting on a sticky spoon,

your synapses giggling in denial of disease.


Did you feel that moment

when the switch flicked from want to need?

Did it creep up silently, like age sneaked up on me,

Or did it swipe you like lightening from behind?


Every vow to stay clean

Fades as it encounters your frowzy face.

The lady will not be disobeyed.


What think ye of thine armour now,

my beloved, struggling son?


©Jane Paterson Basil


Author: janebasilblog

Jane sits around and writes a bit, then she does some other stuff, then she sits around and writes a bit more, then she eats something. Sometimes, at night, she goes to bed.

9 thoughts on “Armour”

    1. There’s always light, but it’s hard to see.
      Laura phones me every day. Yesterday she told me she’d spoken to Paul and he was clean. I said “I’ve heard that one before”. She said, Not from me. I never say he’s clean, but I believe it this time.”
      She wants to believe it. I’ll know he’s clean when he starts trying to make amends. Until then I’ll keep out of his way, since all he does is try to cheat and bully money out of me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I published it in my Mothering Addicts and reblogged it to my main blog, Making it Write, a few hours later, in the hope of drawing attention to the addiction blog. I didn’t know that it would semi-flop.

        Liked by 1 person

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